Picture the scene.
It’s 2:06am, I have woken up to the baby in the co-sleeper upside down (you know the WRONG way round) and the 3 year old lay horizontal in between myself and a snoring husband. I, of course had the feet of the said 3 year old neatly positioned into my spine where her toes where trying to get comfy. Something of which, I was not.
So whilst muttering under my breath “oh it’s alright for you, snoring away…. arsehole” I did the ‘mum pat’ of trying to find the baby.
The ‘mum pat’ is something I have come greatly accustomed to over the years. This is of course the ‘don’t need to look, my hand will be my eyes’ pat. If you are a mum, you will be fully aware of the mum pat.
It can find you a lost dummy, your phone, a breastpad amongst various other mum essentials (yes a phone is a mum essential).
The mum pat, however, has its wins and times of complete failure. Like when you mum pat under the couch and find the infamous skye toy (big paw patrol fans in our house) that your toddler screamed down the house for two nights ago. Or when you are in a blind panic searching for the only bloody dummy/comforter/blankie that you have in your bag, and your eye hands get it right in less than 12 seconds. This is indeed where the mum pat is at its finest.
2:06am. Not the finest time for the mum pat.
I feel for the baby, thinking she can’t be upside down. Opened my actual eyes, thank fuck. Half asleep I picked her up (the right way round) placed her on my lap and whipped the boob out for quick relief of that cry that hits some inner core part of your soul and makes you cringe with anxiety.
15 minutes later she was fast asleep. So I do the mum pat to find my breastpad. I find it, stuck to the baby’s bum, peel it off and put it back in my top. Put the baby back the right way round, before doing the obligatory pee trip. That reminds me, I must do my pelvic floor exercises.
I wake up to a foot in the face, my left side cold and wet.
You see, the mum pat will only suffice as a finding tool and at best help you ‘locate’ items.
What it will not do, is identify which way a breastpad should be placed back inside your top. So, at 3:48am the bedding (which pre baby I would have changed if any spillage occured) was soaked with breastmilk. What I did in that situation was, grab two towels out of the bathroom place them over the puddle of milk (seriously it was huge), swop my top for a poundshop bra and got back in bed.
Just remember that breastfeeding is hard enough, don’t be bothered to change the sheets. You need the extra 8 minutes sleep.
Mother Freckle xx