Recently, I was interviewed by an Australian parenting based company who asked me a series of questions. One of which was this
“What do you do as a parent, that you said you wouldn’t do?”
Do you know, I didn’t even need to think hard about my answer.
I am the shouty mummy.
It’s not what I had envisioned pre children, but being a parent is challenging and can test your patience to its limit! What I did (unrealistically) imagine was the calm, cool, collected mummy who would have the answer to everything, within 5 seconds of my sparkly eyed child asking the cutest question.
The reality is, however, that being a parent isn’t filled with sparkling moments. The reality is that it’s hard work and that sometimes you lose your shit.
I lose my shit, and have done so with embarrassment. That was however before the realisation that everyone, at some point cannot actually quite maintain the ‘okay sweetheart, stop poking your sister in her eye’ pleasant almost singing tone and that at that point that shorty mummy comes out. Whether your a mother, father, sister, brother, grandparent or any other version of cheerleaders that help raise children. They all have their own moments. Maybe not the same as yours, but they do. And if they say they don’t, they do.
I am not however condoning shouting or losing your shit at every opportunity. I mean, who actually wants to lose their shit. However, it is perfectly NORMAL to get caught up in the moment when you feel like you are talking to a brick wall!
It’s perfectly NORMAL to feel overwhelmed with the day and/or stressed in the moment because you’ve had 3 hours of broken sleep or the only food you’ve consumed is the leftover crust from the toast your toddler neglected to eat.
So when the toddler has screamed “I WANT A MAGAZINE” for the 43rd time whilst you are attempting to scramble together the food shop, then doing the under arm scrum toddler hold whilst whispering FML can be the thing that stops you from having the full blown toddler type meltdown in the middle of the frozen food section. Either that or the mum finger comes out wagging like a Cocker spaniel tail whilst repeating “I’m going to count to 3…”
You are honestly not the only one.
However, it can feel like you are at times. Like you’ve completely got it wrong, that your raising a monster or being a terrible mother because you’ve shouted or lost your patience. As mothers and fathers we are constantly comparing ourselves to others. Especially the others who appear to have all their shit together.
Well, I am of the mind set that you do your best. You do what you can, at that moment in time because you are a frigging amazing mother/father/cheerleader and being good enough is all they need.
Perfection only gives children a screwed perception of the world, and who’s perfection are we living up to? Why do we want children who are seen and not heard?
I definitely don’t.
Each and every question, or paddy, or kick off shows me that she is developing and learning to understand the world. Each and every funny and random story she tells me shows me how I’ve given her the space to be creative and test out the world.
So sometimes I shout, but sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I have more patience than other days. Some days I just about make the food and employ the digital nanny (tele).
But that’s okay.
It’s better to not be perfect.
You are good enough and you need to give yourself a break. If you have had a shitty day, let it be just that- a day. It’s not your life, it’s not all the time. Even though it can feel that way sometimes!
And if you ever need a rant/cheerleader/moan/winge/cry/laugh…. then come over to this little corner of the Internet and leave a comment/ have a natter because the likelihood is that someone else has felt that way too!
Don’t ever feel like your in this alone.
We are all in this together.
Mother Freckle xx