I just had this feeling that I just didn’t fit in. Didn’t fit in to the typical maternity leave tribe of mums who have a full week of scheduled baby focused groups to attend and without fail rock up and take full advantage of what’s on offer.
Didn’t fit in to the chit chat which they had. Didn’t fit in to what was portrayed as the norm.
I was the mum who would overthink why I shouldn’t go to the class, or go and regret it because I didn’t feel comfortable about nattering on about Lauren getting her nose pierced at 34. I mean how dare she?
Every single class I would attend, I would leave feeling what an absolute waste of my time. Every time I would find it difficult to find a level to discuss something without someone else throwing in their 2pence worth.
I love how we can debate, hold our own opinions and talk with passion or even just the mind numbing crap I usually natter on about. However when that creeps over the line of becoming nosey neighbour Janet from down the road who passes judgement at every corner then that I can’t stand. I just can’t be bothered with it, so I just don’t go back.
I have this thing for injustice. So if I feel like something isn’t right, or injust then I feel so overwhelmingly passionate about trying to put it right.
The thing is, that’s not welcomed in a forum of let’s judge each other.
So I just popped along to the odd one, when I felt like I was somehow neglecting the children of the experience of stroking some lava lamps or having a story read to them by a stranger. Then I would realise that in fact it wasn’t anything to feel guilty about, get fed up and go back to my own comfortable world of day to day. Trips to the park, toys in the living room and visits to family and friends were my bread and butter.
I’ve tried several baby classes. The baby sensory class, the rhyme class, the reading class and several other classes where I turned up to once and never returned.
I had just popped myself in the category of I’m just not that kind of mum box. So I suppose I’m not, but I’m not giving up just yet. I mean, I might have just had really bad luck. I might have been going to the ghetto of play sessions and there is a world of lovely ones I have yet to find.
Am I the only one who has had these experiences? Surely there are some wonderful ones around where I can drink coffee afterwards and I don’t have to wear make up?
Do let me know if you have ever felt this way too or if you know of any that are fairytale like!